Today at midday, another chapter in one of the Kingdom's most heartwarming, yet bone-crushing, sporting tales will be written. There will be no Ranger Raptors or villas presented to the winners of this clash, but the Cambodian Eagles are set to defend the honour of the nation as a horde of Malaysian Warriors ride into town hell-bent on dominating their smaller rivals.

The local squad has other ideas.

In the past, the previously unknown sport of Australian Rules Football has become the centre of one of the most tight-knit sporting communities in Phnom Penh.

Originally an excuse for expats to run around in between their vital consultancy work, the sport has developed into a fixture of the capital's athletic scene, with the Eagles consistently fielding more local players than any of their regional rivals over the past years, a major point of pride for the club, and a long-term guarantee of depth in the squad.

Old, oft-overquoted David vs Goliath comparisons have been played out to the point where they are almost patronising, but watching a gutsy forward flank like Tong Kimang throw all 1.65m of himself into the shoulder of a giant Australian and throw him to the ground remains one of the greatest scenes in local sports.

Thida Doeur shrugs off defenders against Thailand at the 2024 AFL Asia Cup in Saigon in December. AFL Asia

Kimang will be looking to redeem himself after a rare error saw him benched at the AFL Cup, held in Saigon last December.

Vice-Captain and Toul Tom Poung hospitality legend Sahn Sakada has promised to throw his wallet behind the bar if Kimang kicks just two goals, so everyone has a horse in this race, and another good reason to cheers.

The first match of the year will see young bolter Hi Chhunhor don the Eagles guernsey for the first time, as well as the promised return of some club legends.

Rumours of an intense pre-season training regime surround the return of the once-promising Joel Shipsides, with Eagles Captain Nan Nas seemingly skeptical of the big little fella’s return.

“We’re looking for something special from ‘Shippa’ out of the middle – there’s been a lot of chat around his footy prowess – mostly from him - but not a lot of action. He’s been training. He says he’s ready – but we’ve heard that before. Only time will tell,” warned local legend Nas.

The “Malaysian” side are entirely Australian expats, and one of the strongest sides in the region, while the Eagles have selected a Khmer heavy squad, with just four barang in the 18-man team.

The bookies are saying this one is too close to call, but we all know what Cambodian conditions can do to an expat, so smart pundits will be looking for the local side to put in a big effort in the fourth quarter.

The Malaysian expat community apparently lacks a depth of women hard enough for the scrag of Aussie Rules, so the Warrior men’s team will be travelling alone this time out.

This means the scariest possible outcome for the “mosquito squad”, as the Apsara women’s team are known. Sister on Sister, Srey vs Srey.

Saturday will see an intraclub match between the Nagas and the Garudas. Club stalwart Randle Dunny has pointed out that the match will be a spectacle – but will anyone survive? 

“Our girls are vicious – and they need to be when they take on other countries – but we are a bit nervous about setting them against one another,” he rued.

There’s only one way to find out. Get yourself down to the Eagles’ fortress at Chbar Ampov High School from 12 to 3, and bear witness to the carnage.

Entry is free and I’d be amazed if there weren’t some players keen to show kids how to kick an oval egg around. 

Something different for the weekend? You’ll come back with a nasal accent asking yourself: How good is footy in Asia?